


Irises

by Tinywriterfairy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Dating, Falling In Love, First Dates, First Love, Getting to Know Each Other, Love Confessions, M/M, Moving On, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22674916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinywriterfairy/pseuds/Tinywriterfairy
Summary: Jaemin is so tired of looking at someone who never looks back; when Mark makes his heart flutter, he decides to follow it.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Na Jaemin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 60
Collections: NCT Rarepair Winter Bingo





	Irises

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This wip finally made it past the drawing board (if you've heard me talk about it before, you'll know how long it's been there >.<). This first chapter fills my rarepair bingo slot for ice skating; more slots will be filled as we move through later chapters~

Jaemin poked Jeno in the side with his pen. Their professor didn’t seem to notice what either did at their table in the back as long as they weren’t disruptive, but she also had an eye for sleeping students. Jeno didn’t move. The long, narrow room should have covered them. Jaemin didn’t trust it. He poked Jeno again. Jeno startled up. “What?”

“Shh,” Jaemin hissed. Even if Jeno was cute when he slept, letting him continue wasn’t worth the scolding the professor would give if she caught them. “Pay attention.”

“Hm?” Jeno looked around. “Oh. Thanks, Jaemin.” He picked up his pen again. The tree just past the window on Jeno’s other side dropped a few yellowed leaves.

Jaemin pretended to continue taking notes as he watched Jeno fall back into the rhythm of class. It was nothing out of the ordinary. He still couldn’t look away.

Jeno never looked back.

***

Renjun grabbed Jaemin as soon as he stepped out of the classroom with Jeno. “I need you.” He hooked a hand around Jaemin’s elbow. “Sorry, Jeno, you’ll have to find Jisung on your own.”

“Okay?” Jeno hiked his backpack up onto his shoulder. “Have fun? Good luck?”

“Thanks.” Renjun dragged him down the hall as Jeno wandered away. They had to stop before another classroom door to let a group pass. It looked like mostly athletes, with a few people Jaemin didn’t know. Mark Lee walked in the center of the group, chatting animatedly with a taller boy. Jaemin paused. Mark glanced over. Even briefly, his gaze drew Jaemin in. He let out a breath. Mark looked away as his group moved on. No wonder he was so popular, if he even looked at strangers so intensely.

He let Renjun pull him through the doors, out onto the sidewalk where shedding trees sprang up every few feet. The school had just finished installing a series of benches to go along with it. Renjun dropped Jaemin’s arm. “What’s got you looking like that, anyway?”

Jaemin shrugged. “Jeno fell asleep in class and I had to wake him up.”

“Okay. And?”

Jaemin squirmed. He sat on the nearest bench. “And he’s cute, okay?”

Renjun rolled his eyes. “Did you tell him that?”

“Of course not.”

“Then why are you telling me?”

Jaemin threw up his hands. “You asked.”

“You know what I mean. Why not just tell him?”

“It’s pointless. Leave it alone, please. What do you need?”

Renjun paced in front of the bench. “I’m worried about the winter production. The interest meeting is soon, but hardly anyone’s signed up. Will you come? Even just to help out?”

“Oh, is that all?” Jaemin shrugged. “Sure. It sounds interesting.” And maybe it would be a good distraction. “Is there anything tonight?”

“Yeah, those of us who are already involved are going to meet and finalize our plans. Do you want to come to that, too?”

“If you need me.”

“Alright.” Renjun sat next to him. “Then you can tell me about this pointless business.”

He groaned. A cyclist rode by, almost catching both of their feet. Renjun flipped him off. Jaemin pinched the bridge of his nose. “Haven’t we been over this a million times?”

“You can go over it a million and one.” Renjun’s gaze was implacable. “I just like making sure you’re not being stupid.”

“I’m not being stupid! He doesn’t like me like that. We’ve been over this; you don’t have any proof he treats me or even thinks of me differently than you or Jisung. I’m not trying to screw up a perfectly functional relationship over a crush I don’t even want to have anymore.”

Renjun poked him in the side. “Are you sure about that? You’ve been waiting so long already.”

Jaemin sighed. It made his chest ache to even think about, but … “It doesn’t feel the same anymore, Injunnie. When this all started, I was so happy just to look at him, and I didn’t care about the rest of it. Now? Whenever I think about him, all I can remember are the times he doesn’t look at me.” In their class today, Jeno had barely glanced at him. “It feels symbolic. I really do think that he only sees me as a friend, and since that’s not changing, I’d really like to try not having unnecessary feelings for him.”

Renjun stopped poking him. “If that’s what you want, great. How do you plan on managing it, though? You see each other all the time.”

Jaemin stood, stretching. “I’m sure I’ll figure something out.” He gave Renjun a hand up. “Maybe I’ll actually say yes to a date with someone.”

Renjun hooked his arm through Jaemin’s to walk toward their next classes. “I’d pay to see that.”

Jaemin laughed. “I’m sure you won’t have to.” They ducked into the mass of people changing classes and let it carry them on.

***

Jaemin did not enjoy Wednesdays, even at lunch with his friends. They were too close to Friday, but too close to Monday, so he hoped for the weekend despite knowing he wasn’t going to get it. Jaemin picked at his salad. It wasn’t very appetizing, but the dining hall’s other options were worse. He didn’t even know why they were eating here; big as the hall was, it remained crowded most of the day with chattering students who liked to gossip about each other more than Jaemin enjoyed hearing.

“Why do you even buy the food here if you hate it so much?” Renjun poked him from across the table.

Jaemin shrugged. “I couldn’t be bothered to pack a lunch today. It’s fine, I’ll deal with it.”

Down the table, Jeno laughed at a story Jisung was telling. Jaemin tried to ignore the ache; really, it shouldn’t affect him as much as it still did. He tried another piece of salad. Across the table, Renjun’s eyes widened.

“What?” His question echoed suspiciously in a dining hall which should be deafeningly loud.

Renjun pointed behind Jaemin. He turned and froze. Mark Lee stood right in front of him holding an ample bouquet of irises.

“Hello?” What was Mark doing here? It couldn’t be for him, could it? They were usually for him, but Mark had never shown interest in anyone, so why would it be Jaemin? Then again, why else would he be standing right in front of their table? Jaemin leaned onto the table.

“Hi.” Mark smiled shyly. Jaemin barely held in a laugh—how could someone so bold be so shy?—he didn’t think Mark would appreciate it. “I’m Mark.”

“I know who you are, Mark Lee.” The laugh escaped him, but Mark didn’t seem to mind.

“Does that mean you’d consider going on a date with me this afternoon?” He proffered the flowers.

He had probably been foolish to think otherwise; that didn’t make the butterflies invading his gut any less intense—or surprising.

“You’re very bold, aren’t you?” Was it wrong that he liked it? “Are you so certain I’ll say yes?”

He shrugged. “It’s the other way around. You never say yes to anyone. I might as well try being bold, right?”

Jaemin couldn’t stop the laughter this time either, and if the heat under his skin was anything to go by, he had to be blushing. “Did you know irises are my favorite flower?”

Mark gave a cocky grin Jaemin had seen on him once or twice and if he hadn’t been flushed before, he certainly was now. No one had the right to look that good. “Lucky guess, actually.”

“Very.”

Mark didn’t seem to mind standing there, holding out flowers as Jaemin interrogated him, but he hadn’t overlooked the stares and whispers they garnered. Enough stalling.

He scooped up the bouquet with both hands. “I would love to go out with you, but you have to let me go home first so I can make sure these don’t die or get crushed.”

The room erupted as nosy busybodies commenced with rumor-making. Jaemin just played with his irises, gifting a smile to the enigma in front of him. Mark leaned in. “I can work with that, if you don’t mind leaving right after our classes.”

Jaemin turned to peek at Renjun over his shoulder. “Do I mind leaving right after class?” Surely the theater could wait one afternoon.

Renjun rolled his eyes. “I’ll tell the group you’re busy, it’s fine, go.”

“Thank you.” He turned back. “I’m over in the business school until 3.”

Mark brightened. “So am I.” He touched one of the flowers gently. “If you give me your room number, I can meet you after?”

He did so, and even passed on his phone number. “I’ll see you then.” Jaemin waved him out of sight before turning back to their table. He could practically feel all the eyes on him, but he refused to give the audience any attention. “Did that really just happen?”

“It really did.” Renjun took the flowers. “These are nice. Mark Lee just confessed to you with flowers in front of everyone.”

“Technically he didn’t confess.” He took his flowers back and spoke into them. “He asked me on a date. Be accurate, Injunnie.”

Jisung shoved him from the side. “Why’d you say yes?”

Jeno leaned around to get a better look at the spectacle. Jaemin forced himself not to notice, to examine the lovely flowers until the awareness died down. “He brought me irises.”

He didn’t speak on it again, hiding amongst the irises if his friends brought anything else up. Jeno didn’t say much, but he’d never been much of a tease. It was one of the first things that made Jaemin like him. He didn’t bother finishing his salad.

His marketing professor laughed when he saw the flowers. “What, did you get a confession over lunch?”

Jaemin brandished the bouquet. “I did, actually. A very bold one.”

He could work with that.

***

Jaemin kept the flowers close for the rest of the afternoon, though he had to keep them in his lap so no one would touch them; the desks weren’t very large. And also to spare him from the lingering butterflies that kicked up every time he thought about lunch. How long had it been since he felt butterflies, even over Jeno?

Surreal as it still felt, Mark stood waiting outside his classroom door when the bell rang, tucked out of the way of the flow of students as he waited. Jaemin hooked his bag over one shoulder and kept the flowers close as he made his way over. “They survived the day!”

“I’m glad.” Mark tugged on Jaemin’s bag strap. Jaemin let him have it. “You don’t live that far from here, right?”

They headed out, ignoring any remaining stares. “Only about five minutes by car, not that much longer to walk. I don’t even take the bus much.”

“That’s what I thought, I usually see you walking in. My car’s at the end of the lot.” They escaped the crowd for relative quiet through the back parking lot.

“So, Mr. Bold, where are you taking me?” Jaemin posed against Mark’s car while he unlocked it.

“You know it better than I do, I still don’t have your address.” He set their bags on the backseat before opening the passenger door.

Jaemin laughed, but climbed in. “I know that, but where are we going after? If we’re stopping at my house I have a chance to change. What are we doing?”

Mark got in and started the car. “You shouldn’t need to change, but you might want to grab a jacket.”

“Are we going somewhere cold or are you trying to keep me out late?” He raised both eyebrows before passing on the directions to his house.”

“I don’t want to say yet.”

“Why, is it a surprise? You’ve surprised me plenty already.”

“I—you have a point.” Mark turned the corner. Jaemin let his head rest against the side of the car as Mark drove with a practiced hand. This definitely wasn’t how he had expected his afternoon to go. “And I suppose I should ask—I wouldn’t want you to have to use a rental if you already own some …”

“Is this a secret code I should understand?” Jaemin grinned at him; flirtation was easy enough, at least. He relaxed into it.

Mark groaned. “I’m supposed to be impressing you right now.”

“I am very impressed at your ability to confuse me.” Jaemin gave a smile he hoped was soothing. He patted Mark’s shoulder. “Just ask me whatever you want to ask me, I promise I’m not that hard to impress.”

He thought he heard Mark mutter, “could have fooled me,” but he moved on without giving Jaemin a chance to ask. “Do you own ice skates?”

“You’re taking me skating?” He barely registered them pulling up behind his mother’s car in their driveway, too busy trying not to gape at the boy driving the car. “Are you some kind of mind reader or what?”

“Or what.” He got out of the car and made it around to grab Jaemin’s bag before he even climbed out. How did people do that? “So do you?”

“I do, actually.” Jaemin took his bag back. The walk to his house wasn’t far, he could carry his own bag. “Just give me two minutes. Do you want to come inside?” Mark Lee in his house, seeing his mother, their old, loved furniture and pictures; Mark Lee in his room? Jaemin wasn’t sure how to feel about that yet.

Mark leaned on the hood of his car. “If I stay out here, will you go faster?”

Jaemin stuck his tongue out. “Shut up, I’m plenty fast. Wait out here then.” He ran inside to the sound of Mark’s laughter. It was a nice sound. He allowed a few seconds to just breathe after he shut the door. How was this happening, and could his stomach please calm down? He didn’t have any idea why that was having such a strong reaction, but he was looking forward to finding out. His mother’s shoes sat politely by the door. She must have been cleaning, because the front all looked much emptier than when he’d left this morning.

“Jaemin-ah, are you home?” she called.

“Yeah, but I’m leaving in a couple minutes. Can you get a vase out while I’m upstairs?”

“Why?”

But he was already running up to his room. He dropped his backpack into the office chair in front of his desk. His skating bag rested under his bed, already full. He dragged it out before considering his clothes. He plucked at his shirt. Jeans and a t-shirt would be fine at the ice rink with the coat in his bag. They weren’t what he would have called “first date” clothes, but Mark had already seen him in them. He sighed; at least it was a funny shirt. He grabbed the bag and went back downstairs, stopping in the kitchen. His mother moved away from the sink when she spotted him.

“Is this why you wanted the vase?” His mother took the bouquet, carrying it to the vase already half-filled with water. “What pretty irises. Who got you these?”

Jaemin unwrapped the flowers to put them in the vase. “Mark Lee gave them to me at lunch when he asked me out. We’re going to the ice rink. I might be out late? I’m not sure how much he’s planned and I’d like to go along with it.”

“He’s taking you to the ice rink?” She whisked away the flowers. “Who is this boy?”

“I know, right? He seems very sweet so far.”

His mom frowned at him. “So does this mean you’re over you-know-who, or …?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, probably not. But someone asked me out and I actually wanted to say yes, so I’m going with it.” He glanced at the flowers. “And he gave me irises.”

She kissed his cheek. “Have fun. Call me if you’re going to be out late.”

“I will. See you!” Jaemin dashed back to the car. “Okay, I know that wasn’t two minutes, but I had to tell my mom where I was going, so it’s not entirely my fault.”

Mark laughed. He took the bag to set in the backseat. “It’s fine, I don’t mind waiting.”

“Yeah, but you could have waited inside.” He clambered back into the car.

Mark shrugged and set to driving again. They chatted about classes and their friends on the way over. Jaemin learned that Mark could be desperately funny when he really tried, and very cute when he didn’t. The initial butterflies settled into something warmer as they pulled up to the rink.

Mark turned off the car but didn’t move to get out. He played with his keys. “I suppose this is when I should admit that I don’t actually know how to skate and I only picked this because I thought you’d like it. Before we get in there and I embarrass myself by falling on my ass or something.”

He looked a little sheepish. How endearing; Jaemin didn’t get to hear that kind of honesty much around his friends. “I can teach you.” He patted Mark’s hand. “Thank you for telling me. I wouldn’t have wanted you to get hurt trying to pretend.”

“I did think about it.” He climbed out of the car and sped to open the door for Jaemin. “But I realized that falling on my ass would negate anything that pretending would have done to impress you.”

“Hmmm.” He grabbed for his bag, but Mark ducked away. He pouted dramatically, but let it go when Mark didn’t give in. “I’m definitely more impressed that you told me upfront.”

Mark looked away, and was that a blush? “I’m glad.”

Jaemin grinned. He hooked their arms together and propelled them toward the rink. “Besides, I like teaching, so this will be fun.”

When they got inside, Mark insisted on paying for their tickets along with his own rental skates. He held firm against another pout, impressing Jaemin against his better efforts. Yuta giggled at them. He took Mark’s card and mouthed ‘date?’ at Jaemin. Jaemin only waved as they moved away.

“Do you know them?” Mark asked.

“Who, the guys who work here? Yeah, pretty well. My friend’s brother and his friends have been working here since high school, but I’ve been coming here since I was a kid, so everyone knows me.”

They moved through the rental and sat. “Why are you so worried about impressing me, anyway? I already agreed to go out with you.”

“Well, I want you to keep going out with me, don’t I?” Mark bent down to play with his skates. “How do these strap on?”

He crouched to show Mark the mechanism. Their fingers brushed a few times, and it wasn’t like the movies, the bubbling nervous feeling that made them jerk away (he’d had that with Jeno a few times); this was better. A nice, warm feeling he hadn’t had in ages. He scooted back to tie off his own skates before standing. “Okay, first question before we get out there.” He pulled a jacket from his bag to slip on. “Do you roller skate or ski?”

“Nope.” He tried to stand and mostly succeeded, despite some wobbling. “Why?”

“Similar motions.” He shrugged. “It might have made this a little easier, but it doesn’t matter. Try walking a bit.”

Mark managed a few stumping steps. “That’s not too bad.”

“It’s much easier on the ice, I promise.” Jaemin toddled over to stand next to him. “This will make more sense out there, but do you see the way I’m standing.”

Given direction, he made a little show out of staring at Jaemin’s legs. Jaemin laughed. Cute. “Try to balance on the blades, and bend your legs in a little.” He demonstrated, and Mark tried to follow suit. “When you’re out there this will keep you from falling over. Standing straight tends to make you slide and fall. When you want to move, you’re going to push off with one foot like this.” He pushed gently, picking up one foot to lean on the other. “On the ice, it’ll propel you forward and then you want to push off with the other foot and do the same thing. You will probably fall at some point but as long as you’re moving the way you’re supposed to, it won’t hurt too much.”

“That’s so comforting,” he joked.

Jaemin led him toward the rink. A familiar blast of cold welcomed him through the doors. “Don’t worry,” he winked, “you can hold onto me until you feel stable.” He opened the rink gate and slid onto the ice backward, facing Mark. He held out his hands. “Try stepping on. I’ll catch you if you slip.”

Mark gripped the edge of the gate and stepped onto the ice. Jaemin waited, palms out, to see if he would fall. Mark wobbled and grabbed at Jaemin’s hands. He gripped back to keep Mark upright. “How’s that?”

“This feels weird. Not bad,” he adjusted his grip on their handhold, “but weird.”

“Well, you’re basically standing on frozen water with a pair of knives strapped to your feet to keep you up.” He tugged Mark a little closer. “It is kind of weird if you think about it. But I don’t think it’s too bad.”

Mark grinned back, finally. “No, it’s not too bad. But how do I actually do this?”

“Since you’re already holding onto me,” he wiggled their hands, “I’d like to start by pulling you along with me. I’ll skate backwards slowly and pull you along, and you can try the forward motions I told you about earlier. Does that sound okay?”

Mark laughed. “How did we reverse the romcom scenario here?”

Jaemin shrugged blithely. “It’s not my fault you don’t know how to skate. Would you prefer to try it on your own?”

“No.” He rubbed the back of Jaemin’s hand with his thumb. “No, I like this. Go ahead and pull me.”

“Okay.” Jaemin pushed off, skating gently back to pull Mark along. “When you feel like it, start pushing off with one foot instead of just sliding. If you feel like you want to try skating on your own, just let go.”

Mark nodded. He kept his gaze tight on Jaemin’s face, biting his lip. At least he wasn’t looking down; most of Jaemin’s first falls had been because he couldn’t stop looking at his feet. Every nerve ending where their hands touched felt like it was tingling. What was this? He tried to relax into enjoying the ice. It had been too long since he’d managed to come here. They created a small breeze that whistled by as they moved. The cold felt as nice as always. He couldn’t concentrate with Mark still staring so intensely. What was up with that?

“I think I want to try on my own,” Mark said eventually.

“Okay. Let go.” He slowed, but didn’t stop in case Mark sped up or fell. Slowly, Mark released his hands. He put his own out to the sides to balance, and skated. Jaemin sped up to stay just ahead of Mark as he moved. “How does that feel?”

“I think I’m starting to get it.” Mark sped up. Jaemin skated around until they moved next to each other. “Why’d you move?”

“Because I don’t want you to run into me if you decide to go faster; I can still catch you from the side if you fall, you know? Plus, I actually like skating forward better.”

Mark cocked his head. “Is it harder to skate backward?”

They made their way around the rink as he explained more ways to skate. Luckily, in mid-afternoon on a Wednesday the rink was practically empty so there were fewer people for Mark to avoid. Mark adjusted slowly, but still faster than Jaemin would have expected; he didn’t try any tricks, but soon enough they could skate at Jaemin’s normal speed.

“How did you know I would want to come here?” He waited to ask until they’d made enough circuits that Jaemin didn’t have to worry so much about Mark falling over. “I would have expected a first date to take me to a movie or something. Especially if you don’t know how to skate.”

“Oh.” He laughed nervously. “This place shares the building and a window with the arcade, right?”

“Yeah, over there.” Jaemin waved vaguely at the large window. He didn’t want to look away from the interesting mix of reminiscence and embarrassment playing over Mark’s face. “I’ve been in a few times.”

“Right. Well, Donghyuck and Yukhei like it enough to drag me in there every now and then. I’m not quite as big on games as they are, so I usually end up staring through the window over here.” He pointed back at the window as well. “So I’ve seen you skating a few times, and it looked like you really enjoyed it. I just didn’t know if you owned a pair of skates or not. But I thought it would be nice, since I know you like this and I wouldn’t have known what kind of movie you would want to see. And there’s always the risk that I choose something like horror and you hate horror and then you associate me with that and never speak to me again.”

Jaemin laughed. “It wouldn’t be that bad. I’m pretty upfront about what I like and don’t like. I wouldn’t have let you take me to a horror movie.”

“So you don’t like horror?” Mark slipped his hand into Jaemin’s. It felt nice there. Warm.

“Not remotely.” He squeezed Mark’s hand and adjusted his strokes so they skated in sync. “And I’m not the type to fake it so we end up cuddling in the theater. I genuinely do not enjoy it, and I would just tell you that.” He shrugged. “But I’m glad you picked skating anyway, because now you know how to skate and now we can come back any time.”

“Was that …” Mark trailed off when Jaemin looked over. “No, never mind, it can wait. When did you decide to get your own skates instead of renting them?”

“Oh, my parents got me my first pair when I was really little. I’ve been skating forever, and they could tell I would love it, so I’ve pretty much always had my own pair. I think for most people it’s a question of how often do you intend to come around and skate and how much is the pair you’re thinking of getting. Why, are you thinking you like skating that much?”

Mark shrugged. It’s definitely fun, but if this is something you do a lot, I’d like to be able to as well, so I’m wondering which is better.”

Jaemin almost missed the heat of a blush under the flush from the cold in the rink. He’d hinted at it earlier, but it was more intense to hear coming from Mark. Would he want that, to have Mark here all the time? “Well, cost-wise it just depends on how much you’re willing to put into it. But new skates have to be broken in, which usually causes sore feet for days. Rented skates are almost always broken in, but they don’t always fit as well.” He tugged a little. “Do you want to try going a little faster?”

He did, so they did.

***

Mark asked Jaemin what he wanted to eat before finding them a restaurant. A little out of the way, the place he found for them seemed quite popular in spite (or maybe because) of the roughened vintage feel to the small, older building. Jaemin liked it; he peered around at the little trinkets littering spots on the wall as the waitress showed them to a table.

He waited until the waitress left them facing each other in the nice little alcove to ask his next question. “Do I really seem that hard to impress?” He unwrapped his utensils without looking away from Mark.

“What?”

“You kept saying things about impressing me earlier, and when I asked you said it was about convincing me to go on more dates with you. I keep wondering about it. Do I seem so high maintenance or so hard to impress that you have to keep worrying about it?”

He shrugged, eyed Jaemin’s hands. Jaemin put one on his side of the table just to see what he’d do. Mark played with Jaemin’s fingers. “I don’t know if it’s that you seem hard to impress. You’ve gotten your share of public confessions.”

“Yes.” Mark’s fingers should have felt ticklish, but it was nice.

“’You’ve never accepted any of them. I don’t put stock in rumors, but do you know what they say about you?”

He shrugged. “I’ve heard a few. Something about being stuck up or hard to get or coy. It hasn’t stopped people from asking, though.” He batted his eyelashes at Mark. “Obviously.”

Mark blushed. Jaemin bit his tongue to hold back words so he could get an answer to his question.

“That’s true.” Mark intertwined their fingers. “I don’t think those things are true; rumors are stupid and no one but you knows what you’re thinking. But it’s true you’ve never accepted a confession that anyone knows of.”

“Had never.” Jaemin traced a little pattern into the back of Mark’s hand.

Mark smiled down at their hands. “Had never. I don’t think it makes you stuck up or whatever they say, but it does make me think that you weren’t impressed enough with any of the people who asked you to even say yes. It makes me wonder if the bar is set a little higher.” He shrugged. “If it wasn’t obvious already, I like you and I want you to like me, too. So of course I want to impress you.”

“Well, I certainly am impressed.” He had to let go of Mark’s hand so the waitress could set down their food. They thanked her before she left. “Though I promise it’s not as hard as you’re thinking.”

“Can I ask you something?”

Jaemin waved.

“Why haven’t you ever gone out with anyone? Were you in a relationship and didn’t want to say, or just not interested or something?”

“Ah.” He let his head fall back, just missing the back of his seat, before he sat back up. “This might be a longer conversation than you were expecting.”

“Uh, okay?” Mark looked worried.

“No, it’s nothing that bad.” Jaemin traced a little circle in the condensation on his glass. “I was going to bring this up at some point today no matter what, because it wouldn’t be fair to not talk about it.”

“Now I’m a little worried.”

“I don’t think you have to be.” Jaemin tried to smile at him. “Though you may not like part of this. Anyway, the short answer to your question is that I was never interested enough in anyone who asked to want to say yes.” The smile became more real as he remembered Mark walking into the dining hall. “And then you walk into the cafeteria with my favorite flowers and give me some kind of cliché butterfly reaction.”

“I did?” Mark looked like he was trying not to grin.

“You did.” Jaemin took a drink of water. “That never happened to me before when someone asked me out, so I thought I should go with it. And I’m very glad I did, because I’ve really enjoyed this.”

“You’re very straightforward,” he observed

“Do you not like it?”

“Oh, no, this is great. I’m just surprised.”

Jaemin shrugged. “I’m about to get to the part you might not like, so it’s only fair if I’m upfront about the good stuff, too.”

Mark leaned in. “What am I not going to like?”

“Those butterflies, the way you’ve been making me feel all day, I think that’s a sign. I think I could like you. I think I could really like you. But in the interest of honesty, I have to warn you that the longer answer to your question is that I was interested in anyone who asked me out because I’m in the process of getting over someone.”

Mark cocked his head.

Oh, he hoped this wouldn’t end badly. Jaemin played with his fork. “I’ve had strong feelings for someone in my friend group, who does not feel the same way for me, for a long time. For the past year or so, all it’s done is make me sad. But as much as I don’t want to like them anymore, it’s not fair to someone who really likes me to just say yes if I’m not interested. But you … you interest me. You actually made me want to say yes. I think that means something.” He bit the inside of his lip. “I would really like to get to know you better, because you make me feel things I haven’t felt in a long time. But I understand that I would be asking a lot from you, so I thought it was only fair to put it all on the table for you.”

“So, what are you suggesting?” 

Jaemin studied his face carefully; he didn’t seem upset, just careful. He reached to brush the back of Mark’s hand with a finger. “I’m suggesting that you keep taking me on dates, if you want, and I’ll take you on some dates, too, and we get to know each other; I’ll be very, very honest with you if you’re very, very honest with me, and see where things go? If you’re willing to be patient with me.”

Mark just looked at him. He stared back. Whatever Mark was looking for, Jaemin could wait for him to find it. And perhaps he did, because he gave a small smile. “You mean that, don’t you?”

“I do. I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it. So?”

Ever so slowly, Mark turned his hand over to pull Jaemin’s hand into his. “So, taking it slow?”

“I guess you could call it that.”

He grinned. “Tell me more about these butterflies.”

Jaemin was probably blushing a little. He didn’t mind so much with all the cards on the table. He shrugged. “What do you want me to say? I noticed you before, whenever we’d cross paths, but it wasn’t enough interaction for me to know anything. Then you walked up to me in the cafeteria. I’m not stupid, I knew what you were there for as soon as I saw you with those flowers.” Despite the brief hope the flowers weren’t for him. He let his eyes almost close. “It wasn’t the flowers that did it, even though you’re the only person who’s ever figured out that irises are my favorite flower, not roses.”

“You don’t like roses?”

“Well, I don’t hate them.” Jaemin played with Mark’s fingers. “They’re pretty, and popular, but I’ve always preferred irises. Roses mean love, yes, and that’s lovely, but irises stand for hope, and sometimes that’s harder to come by. Plus, I think they’re much more interesting to look at. And roses don’t come in blue.” All the small reasons he loved the flowers; Mark would have to work a little harder than one date to get anything more.

“You like blue, too?”

“Are you looking for all of my preferences now?” he teased. “I’ll tell whatever you want to know, but no, blue isn’t necessarily my favorite color. I’m just pointing out that irises have more variety than roses. Anyway, it wasn’t the flowers, exactly. People have brought me flowers before and the gesture didn’t give me butterflies so I think it must just be you.”

Mark gave a pleased smile. “That’s nice to hear.”

“I thought you might like that.” He kept playing with Mark’s fingers since he seemed to like it. “You seemed so bold, walking right up to me with flowers to ask me out, but you were so adorably awkward after, I almost couldn’t believe I was looking at the same person.”

Mark tried to squirm away, but Jaemin held fast to his hand. “That’s embarrassing.”

“It’s cute,” Jaemin cooed at him as he had wanted to earlier. “I liked it. It interested me. How can someone so bold be this cute?”

“Please stop.”

“For now.” Jaemin pouted until Mark looked at him. “And—you think you have to try so hard to impress me, but I don’t think you even see what you’re doing that does impress me, greatly. The flowers might have been a guess, but you noticed that I like ice skating and decided to bring me even though you didn’t know. You were honest about not being amazing at something, and willing to let me teach you. The gentlemanly gestures might be on purpose, but they’re appreciated. And you asked me what I wanted for dinner.” He waved at the restaurant. “This isn’t the first date I’ve ever been on, and I can tell you that it’s not that common for people to do things like that. Pay enough attention to notice and use things about me, and ask what I like.” He smiled at Mark. “You’re off to a very good start. I wish you wouldn’t worry so much.”

Mark whined and finally took his hand back so he could cover his face. “I was not prepared for this. I was prepared for rejection, but not for this.”

Jaemin giggled. “Let’s eat a bit more, shall we?”

They finally dug into the food. Mark had chosen well; even Jaemin’s safe choice of pasta practically burst with flavor. Jaemin gave them both time to eat before he released the most important question waiting on his tongue.

“So,” Jaemin leaned in. “I told you plenty about my side. What’s yours? Why do you like me so much you had to go and buy me flowers?”

Mark blushed. “I don’t know, I just—I told you before, I was expecting a rejection so I thought I might as well do something bold. You deserve it, anyway.” He sat back, gaze roving over Jaemin’s face. Jaemin held back a noise at the praise. “We don’t know each other that well, but you always just … catch my eye? I remember seeing you play with your friends a few months ago and thinking I’d really like to be there, too. And then, Chenle and Jisung both talk about you sometimes. I just couldn’t work up the nerve to actually talk to you.”

Jaemin tried not to laugh. “You couldn’t talk to me normally, but you could ask me out with a bouquet? How does that work?”

“Listen, I just couldn’t take it anymore.” Mark took a drink of water. His ears were red. “I knew you’d be nice about turning me down and I wanted to just get it all out there.”

“That’s so cute.” What was it about this boy that made him want to get closer? All the things he had listed, or the way Mark went red whenever Jaemin flirted with him? Jaemin picked up his fork. “Tell me more.”

He did manage to coax a few more tidbits out before the end of their date. Mark didn’t seem to mind indulging him. Jaemin liked that.

***

Jaemin let Mark escort him to his front door when they got back. A curtain rustled.

“My friends are waiting to ambush me,” he nodded to the window. “They might even be listening at the door.”

“Good to know.” When they stopped at the door, Mark tugged Jaemin around by the hand to face him and walked him back into the door. “Thank you for going out with me.”

It felt nice, being so close together, even if Mark was crowding him to the door. Jaemin leaned against the wood and grinned back. “Thank you for taking me out.” He squeezed the hand Mark still held. “And thank you for your patience?”

Mark reached to carefully brush Jaemin’s hair away from his forehead. “You’re well worth it.”

He was learning to enjoy the blushes.

“Do I dare ask for a kiss, or is it too soon?”

Jaemin stuck his tongue out. “Much too soon, I don’t give anything away on the first date. Wait a little.”

Mark laughed. “Bold words for someone who was in my lap earlier.”

He gasped in mock offense. “I put my feet in your lap for thirty seconds because you asked to see my skates before I took them off. You know that’s not the same thing.”

Mark laughed again. “Fine, I give. Can I take you out tomorrow?”

“So impatient.” Jaemin sighed. “I have a theater meeting tomorrow after my classes that will probably run long. You can come watch if you want, but that wouldn’t be a date. I’m free Friday?”

“Why wouldn’t you count that as a date?” Mark cocked his head.

“I don’t think it counts as a date unless I can devote all of my attention to you.” Jaemin grinned as Mark’s ears finally went red again. He couldn’t let Mark get too used to things just yet.

“How sweet,” Mark said finally. “Friday, then? I’ll come watch you tomorrow, though.”

Jaemin grinned. “Looking forward to it. But you got one thing wrong.”

“What’s that?”

You’re not taking me out. It’s my turn.” He hesitated, but really, wasn’t it a good sign that he wanted to? Jaemin leaned over to kiss Mark’s cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight.” Mark let his fingers drag along Jaemin’s palm as he let go and headed back to his car. Jaemin waved until he got there. Mark leaned against the hood of his car and pointed at the house—waiting until Jaemin got inside? How chivalrous. Jaemin rolled his eyes but unlocked the door to step in. He waved Mark off properly even as his friends piled closer in the hall.

Jaemin closed his front door. He leaned back against it, grinning at Renjun and Jisung. Jeno stood behind them. It panged, but couldn’t completely dent the happy bubble Mark had sent him into.

“Stop looking and start talking,” Renjun demanded. “How did it go? What happened?”

Jaemin set his bag in the corner. “He took me ice skating.” The thought still left him warm and giddy. “He didn’t know how to skate, so he let me teach him. Then we had dinner.”

“He took you skating?” Jeno leaned on Jisung’s back. “Did he know you like it?”

Did he even care? Jaemin nodded. “He said he’s seen me there a few times when he went to the arcade with friends, and he thought it would make a good date.”

“What—”

“Can I sit down, at least, before the interrogation proceeds?” The giddiness had drained right out of him. Jaemin herded his friends into the living room. Renjun and Jisung went quickly enough. Jeno moved slower, glancing back at Jaemin, but he only shook his head when Jaemin raised an eyebrow.

Renjun and Jisung took the couch, pulling Jaemin down to sit with them. Jeno dropped into another armchair. He tried to push away any special awareness of Jeno as the interrogation began properly.

“So.”

“So?”

“He let you teach him to skate?” Renjun nudged him. “How’s that for romance?”

“If you’re asking, did I do the skating backwards while holding his hands to help him thing, the answer is yes. I did do that.”

Renjun made a weird noise. Jaemin leaned into Jisung for protection.

“You’re planning to go out again, right?” Jisung asked after Renjun calmed down.

“I knew you were listening.” Jaemin sat up. “Yeah, he’s going to sit in on our meeting tomorrow and we’re going out on Friday.”

Jeno propped his chin on his hand. “So you like him, then?”

Jaemin looked away. He thought about Mark, standing in the dining hall with a bouquet of irises just for Jaemin, stumbling in his skates before gliding across the ice, blushing, holding Jaemin’s hand across a table while taking in his secrets. He couldn’t help his smile. “Yeah, I think I do.”

Jeno was quiet. Jaemin refused to look at him while thinking about Mark.

“What about—” Jaemin elbowed Jisung in the ribs before he could finish.

“What about that lap comment?” Renjun asked, peering over at Jisung. Jaemin hugged him to apologize for the poke. Jisung grumbled until Jaemin had him squished against the couch. Jeno laughed. Jaemin let go of Jisung when the other nudged him. Renjun’s question could serve as acceptable cover.

Jaemin forced a laugh. “He was curious about my skates, so I let him get a closer look. It wasn’t much of anything, but I guess he wanted to joke about it.”

“So.” Renjun leaned on Jaemin’s shoulder with more gravity than he usually bothered. “Are you going to kiss him on the second date?”

Jaemin refused to blush. He refused.

Jisung made a noise. “Can we not talk about kissing, please.”

Jeno stood. Jaemin turned to find him looking at his watch. “I’m glad you had a good time on your date. I need to get home, I told my mom I’d come by for dinner.” He waved and headed for the door.

Jaemin waved him off, monitoring his physical state as Jeno left. Manageable, if he ignored the ridiculous sinking in his stomach—he didn’t want it. Both of his other friends pounced on him as soon as the door closed. “He’s gone, now spill for real.”

Jaemin raised a brow. “I haven’t been hiding anything specific. Do you have questions you haven’t asked?”

“Why did you really say yes?” Jisung cuddled close to Jaemin. “It can’t just be because of the irises. You’ve never taken a date before.”

Jaemin settled against Jisung, reaching over to poke at Renjun’s hand. “It wasn’t just the irises. It … I saw him there with my favorite flower just to ask me out, and it made me happy. I actually felt those butterflies, the happy, giddy, giggly ridiculous feeling you get with a crush.” He shrugged. “I haven’t felt like that in such a long time. Frankly, I’ve been sad over Jeno for so long that I almost forgot what an actual crush feels like.” Faint butterflies warred with his still-low stomach. His chest ached. “I want to be happy. Mark made me happy, so I said yes. And it was really good.”

Renjun poked Jaemin back. “Does he know about Jeno?”

Jaemin nodded. “I didn’t think it would be fair not to say anything. He asked me why I said yes while we were at dinner and I told him an abridged version of the story. We agreed to try it out, just slowly. I do think I like him, or I could. And I don’t want either of us to get hurt just because I’m not totally over one stupid crush yet.”

“And you’re sure this is what you want?” Renjun looked so endearingly earnest, with his chin out and gaze searching.

Jaemin pulled his hand back. He rested it on his knee. “I get you think he likes me, but it’s been years. I haven’t seen any acts toward me which would indicate a crush, and I have tried looking. After this long, I don’t think anything is going to change.”

“But what if—”

“Please. I’ve spent a year just being sad, remember? There’s someone who does want me, enough to say it, someone who isn’t afraid to embarrass himself trying, someone who makes me happy.” He put his hand on Renjun’s shoulder. “I know you’re worried, but this is what I want. I promise. We’re going to be careful. I’m not going to lead him on or let myself jump too fast. Can you try to be happy for me?”

Renjun looked him over. “Of course I can.” He hugged Jaemin. For once, they all three cuddled close, longer than they had in a while.

“So are you going to kiss him on Friday?”

Jisung groaned. “Please, no.”

Jaemin laughed. “Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.”

His mom came by to ask questions once she noticed he was back, but she didn’t make his friends leave until they needed sleep.

***

Mark almost screamed when he found Donghyuck lounging on his couch. “What the hell, Hyuck?”

Donghyuck cackled. “I knew you wouldn’t talk to me unless I ambushed you. Now, spill.” He sat up, turning off whatever he’d been watching on the television opposite.

Mark groaned but dropped next to him. “You already know he said yes.”

Donghyuck waved his hand in a circle. “Yes, I saw, get on with it. Wait, no, hold on.” He pulled out his phone. “Yukhei, get over to Mark’s house, I’m interrogating him about his date.”

“ _What, really? Wait for me!_ ” Yukhei’s voice reached Mark despite Donghyuck not having hit the speaker button. Donghyuck winced and hung up.

Yukhei arrived quickly, barreling in to push onto the couch next to them. He asked about Chenle, but Donghyuck had apparently tried to rope the boy in already and failed. Donghyuck maneuvered himself to point at Mark.

“Okay, now spill.”

Mark sighed from his spot squished between his two best friends. “I took him by his house so he could drop off the flowers and get his skates and we went ice skating.”

“And?”

Mark couldn’t stop his grin. “It was really good. I didn’t know how to skate, obviously, but he was really patient about teaching me and I think he enjoyed it? Then we went to dinner.”

“Where?” Yukehi asked.

“Does it really matter where?” Donghyuck demanded.

“Yes, I want to know if it was any good.”

Donghyuck groaned. Mark laughed, but told them about dinner.

“This is not what I wanted to know,” Donghyuck informed him from where he’d flopped to the side of the couch. “I wanted to know the interesting details! Did you kiss him? … wait maybe I don’t want too many details about that.”

Mark smacked Donghyuck’s leg. “Don’t be gross, we didn’t make out.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know? Did he say why he said yes, does he like you, are you going out again? Tell me something interesting.”

“I …” how much would Jaemin be comfortable with? Mark fidgeted. “We’re going out again, yes. Probably Friday because he has practice tomorrow and he said I could come but that’s not a date. The other stuff … it’s kind of complicated?”

Donghyuck sat up. “Complicated how?”

“Yeah, I don’t see what’s hard about that,” Yukehi added. “He either likes you or he doesn’t.”

“Yeah.” He wouldn’t get detailed. That would be okay, right? Jaemin said it was only a secret so his friend wouldn’t find out. “I don’t think I should say too much, because it’s his business, but.” He tried to hold back a smile. “He said he likes me, that he wants to get to know me better, but it is complicated because he’s getting over someone and he doesn’t want me to feel like a rebound or like he’s leading me on, so we’re going slow.”

Donghyuck narrowed his eyes. “Getting over someone?” He didn’t look angry yet, but Mark wasn’t about to let his friend start something with Jaemin before he even got a second date.

“Yes. I’m not telling you anything else, and please don’t ask him.”

“Hyuck,” Yukhei reached across to put a hand on Donghyuck’s knee. “He told Mark he doesn’t want him to be a rebound. That’s a good thing. It means he’s trying to take care of Mark. Don’t make this into a problem until or unless it is.”

Donghyuck bristled, then settled. “Fine.” He flopped back to the couch. “But I’m still giving him a talk when I see him.”

Yukhei shrugged at Mark. “I think that’s the best you can ask for.”

Mark groaned.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, hyung.” Donghyuck patted Mark, though he didn’t get up. “You like him so much. I want it to work out, but I don’t want you to get super invested and then have him say “oh, I’m sorry, I can’t get over this other guy” … guy? Girl? Person? Is he gay or bi or what, I don’t think I’ve heard him say.”

“He’s bi.”

“Okay, cool. “I can’t get over this other person” or for him to get bored or be an ass or something.”

“I know you care.” Mark patted Donghyuck’s knee. “Thank you for caring. But I like Jaemin because he’s not the kind of person who would do that. You know what he told me?”

Donghyuck shook his head.

“He said he never accepted any of the confessions we’ve seen before me because he wasn’t over this other person and because he was never interested in any of them. But he was interested in me. He said he wants to see where this goes, and because he doesn’t want to do what you just said, he wants to go slowly and be very honest with each other.” Mark shrugged. “And maybe it doesn’t happen. But that’s the risk you take with dating. It could suck, or it could be great.”

Yukhei hugged Mark from the side. “And you’re not worried about this other person?”

Mark leaned against Yukhei’s shoulder. “I mean, it would have been nice if Jaemin was interested only in me to start with, but it’s not his fault and it’s not my fault that the timing is a little weird. He made a very good case for why he doesn’t want to be into this other person, so it’s not like I’m jealous.” Insecure, maybe a little. But Jaemin had smiled at him, held his hand, kissed his cheek. He wanted to do it again. He could handle a little insecurity if it meant he got to keep seeing that.

Donghyuck groaned again. “You’re thinking something cheesy, I can feel it.”

Mark stuck his tongue out. “Just because you think love is gross …”

“I don’t think love is gross, I think you’re gross.”

Donghyuck cackled when Mark tackled him. They scuffled until Yukhei decided to drop on top of both of them. Mark relaxed under the weight of his best friends. Things would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading! Please be gentle with my babies, they still have a lot of growing to do. What did you think so far?


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